It’s been an off week for me. I’m not feeling this routine anymore.
I have to admit that I’m tired.
I’m tired of being home so frequently. I’m tired of everyone else being home with me so frequently. I’m tired of only working two-hour shifts at a time so my husband and I can trade off watching the kids. I’m tired of virtual school. I’m tired of making everyone three meals a day. I’m tired of it all.
I have been trying not to complain because I fully recognize how lucky we are here. My husband and I are each able to work from home and maintain our incomes. We have access to food so I can make us three meals a day. The weather is nice, so we can get outside and do things around town and in the neighborhood. We are all healthy, and the kids actually seem to be mostly thriving in this new normal. We have it good.
The days aren’t hard, really, just the same day on repeat – a perpetual Groundhog’s Day.
My husband has kindly suggested taking some time off of work, and I see where he is coming from. Honestly, I don’t want time off of work. I want to be able to focus on my work tasks for more than 2 hours at a time. I would like to 100% focus on something for a significant chunk of time (and not have to be up at 6am to do it). I miss silence. I would like a little more separation between work and life, but that’s not in the cards for now.
So, instead, I’m going to reground myself and focus on the benefits and my favorite parts of being home so much now:
- Our afternoons, evenings, and weekends are a lot less hectic without a ton of after-school activities.
- I can give my kids hugs when they want them, even in the middle of a school day.
- My husband can make dinners more frequently since he’s not commuting.
- I always get to go shopping alone while my husband stays home with the kids.
- I’ve far surpassed my reading goals for the year.
- The weather has been nice since the pandemic started.
- At least the neighborhood pool was open this summer so we had somewhere to cool off outside in the heat.
- The kids reading levels have improved with more one-on-one attention.
- I’ve gotten the chance to deeply explore how my children learn best, where their strengths are, and their areas for development.
- We have been able to have more family time playing outside, watching the Great British Baking Show, and reading Harry Potter. (We’re up to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which may take us a few months to finish.)
- Mr. 7-Year-Old learned to ride his bike. Mr.-Then-4-Year-Old finally got the courage to regularly ride his big-boy bike rather than a tricycle.
- We tackled home projects we’d been putting off because we finally had the time to focus on them together.
- I have been on SO MANY walks.
- Our house has been cold and illness free since March.
- The boys are having playdates outside exploring creeks, playing on swings, and generally running around together rather than inside playing video games.
- My house is now REEEALLY organized.
- I haven’t felt the need to buy the boys new clothes. Jean got a hole in the knees? Oh well, we’re not going anywhere.
- Our senior pup and my husband are closer than ever. She’s basically become his shadow.
- But…we spend so much time at home now that the dog doesn’t sleep at the foot of our bed anymore. She stays downstairs, I presume, to get away from us for at least part of the day. I have room to stretch my feet out now, until about 5am when she strolls upstairs to join us.
- We’ve all become a bit more resilient in times of uncertainty and change.
Just the act of writing out the upsides makes me feel a bit better. I still miss silence and being able to write without being interrupted fifteen times. But, the only thing constant is change. I will get silence again someday, and then I’m sure I’ll lament about the absence of regular commotion. It’s best to enjoy what you have and while you have it.